Topic of the day! Okay, relationships can be a lot of fun! But don’t let hollywood fool you.. a good, healthy, and stable relationship is a lot of hard work. I can promise you right now it will never be easy.
I would have to say the two top things that YOU have to do, not you as a couple, but you as an individual who is a part of the relationship, have to do to survive your relationship are as follows:
- Get independent. The earlier you start, the much easier this will be.
- Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT worry about the little details.
When you are dependent on somebody you are in a relationship with, it typically does not go very successfully. Somebody usually gets annoyed of the other, or you both do. Having your own independence within the relationship
allows you both to do your own thing. You don’t have to share the same hobbies, friends, and lifestyle with each other. In fact, the more things you don’t have in common, the more you have to talk about! If you do everything together all day long, imagine how little you will have to discuss. When you went off and did your own thing, and the other person does theirs, at the end of the day you honestly will have so much more to talk about. You probably even missed each other. The less you see that person, the more you truly appreciate their presence! Also, something I have learned about being dependent on somebody in a relationship is that you sort of lose sight of how to socialize on your own! You can become so dependent on a person, that you forget how to socialize! You can forget how to go out and just be on your own. This is why you have to push yourself out there, make your own friends, get your own hobbies. Seriously, just do what you love doing, do what makes you happy.
Details, guys. They can get you into a lot of trouble. How important are details? Are they important to you? How important do they become though, when it comes down to the two of you arguing over every little detail of something that person did that you just can’t seem to understand. You don’t need an explanation for everything! That’s why you are in a relationship with this person. You trust them. You trust God, because you know he would never steer you wrong. If this isn’t the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with, then there are probably some pretty good lessons to be learned out of it . So, basically, you don’t need to spend your time worrying about every little detail in the relationship. Every little thing said or done. Focus on the big picture. Now, I’m not telling you to ignore all the details and forget about them. Definitely still pay attention! Be aware of the details and what is going on with you and what is going on with the relationship. Just, don’t analyze every little thing. Because trust me, in the moment something small like that, that really bothers you and you just had to start up that argument, you will regret it later. It’s just you two in the relationship. You trust each other. You love each other. So, seriously, bite your tongue sometimes. It’s not worth it. Once you start letting little things go, that really don’t matter you will feel a difference. It is way less stressful for you and you can really take time to focus on yourself and on the two of you.
Have fun together! It’s your relationship! Do your own things, but make that special time for each other. My boyfriend and I live together, but our schedules are about to get really crazy with work and then when school starts, so we decided that we will devote one night a week to each other. Just the two of us. We can do whatever we want, no commitments to our schedules. We can just relax and have fun. Go out, or do whatever. Then, the rest of the week we will commit back to our schedules at work and school.
Just remember to have fun and not worry so much. Read a lot. Listen carefully. And talk only when necessary.
HAPPY GROWING 🙂